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Unplanned Pregnancy
15 Replies
Tawny - February 9

I'm currently 10 weeks pregnant and it was unplanned (Birth Control failed). I am also not married. The father and I were seriously dating but due to his lack of ability to "stand up" and be a man I have had it with him. He will say things and never do them. He told me that he would pay for everything with the baby (he makes a lot of money) and later he told me to go on welfare (I'm a full-time student and lost my job in August). On top of all the "baby daddy" drama, my family is super conservative. They will literally freak out and probably disown me. And on top of all of that, my sister is getting married and the wedding will be in early August, right around the time I'll be due. Everyone from my childhood and my relatives from another country will be there and if I'm a big balloon at her wedding I'll be so embarassed! I'm considering abortion but part of me feels that it would be so wrong.

Is there anyone that may have been in a similar boat with an unplanned pregnancy out of wedlock and a ultra conservative family to contend with? Any advice, tips, feedback, anything will be very much appreciated. Thank you all!


Ynes - February 9

If you are having second thoughts about abortion, don't. Do you think your family would approve more of abortion? It can be very difficult to raise a baby, especially alone, but not impossible. If you don't think you are ready for it adoption is a great option there are plenty of families out there that can't have their own babies and would love to bring one into their home.


Hermione - February 9

Firstly, you are not alone. I'm in the same boat. It's scary as hell but YOU CAN DO THIS!! Your BF may surprise you (and then again maybe not, you can do it by yourself)! Secondly, abortion is not an option in my opinion. You will most certainly regret it. Trust me, I know.

On that note, your family would most certainly be shocked if they ever found out you had an abortion. It's not something to be taken lightly. Just think... Wouldn't your mother love the sight of her new born baby grandchild, no matter what the circumstances? In all reality, wouldn't she? Tell them now so that you have some support. The sooner you tell them, the better you will feel. I told my mother the day I found out even though I knew she would freak. I had to get it off of my chest and I needed her support. She did a total 180 of what I thought she would and has supported me since I told her. I was so surprised!


Keshia - February 9

I am in the same boat as you are as far as family goes. I am also going to be a single parent.

Some suggestions I can give you for when you tell them, is to be completely honest with them. Tell them everything that you have told us. They MAY same some hurtful things, but you just have to kind of "take it". They will be afraid for you, and what you're going through, and that's where the anger is coming from. They may also surprise you and stand behind you 100% after they get over their shock. I found that it was easier for me to talk to my mom first, but you may be closer to your dad.

As far as an abortion goes, that is something that is entirely your decision. Most people that I talk to regret their decision to have one. If you go through with it, or it becomes something that you seriously consider there are "abortion support groups" all over the place. Just make sure that it is something that you want for you, and not because of anyone else, and that you are 100% sure of it.


Kyoko - February 9

I am not a religious person, so I will not repeat what others have said. If that is your belief there is a lot said that would help and comfort you. I will say that yes I am pro choice, but I believe if it must be done it should be for a good reason. A reason better then fear. My best friend was pregnant at 15, she gave her little boy up for adoption. She knew it was best for him. Not just for her. Take your time and weigh your choices carefully. But others have said and I will repeat, your family could surprise you and be a major help to you in this hard time.


Trish - April 13

You are responsible for your own actions. Stand for it and don't let anyone bring you down. Good luck with your baby.


tyra - April 14

Women face a great many social pressures to have children, and these pressures influence the way we think and feel about our fertility. A woman who confides to a friend that she is pregnant may be so overwhelmed with congratulations - particularly if she is perceived to be in a stable, long-term relationship - that it may be difficult to admit the pregnancy was neither planned, nor whole-heartedly welcomed. To declare in such circumstances that the state of affairs is all a big mistake may require a degree of boldness beyond that which the couple can summon.


marigold - April 14

You committed mistakes and you have to face all the consequences. Tell your family about it. They will be the first to know about your situation. They might say something bad maybe because they will get hurt and you said you are a conservative family but later on they will learn to accept the situation. And with regards to the baby inside your womb, please don't ABORT him. HE IS INNOCENT! Don't add another MISTAKE to your mistakes being done.


glycel - April 14

PREMARITAL SEX + ABORTION = HELL...Before you were having sex in the first place, you already knew that you're doing wrong. So, you have to face all the consequences and accept if ever your family will disown you. You are a big shame to the family especially you belong to a conservative family.


jinky - April 14

Unplanned or planned once you already know that you are pregnant, you need to face the reality and accept the consequences of your action.


Marina - April 14

Please don't ever think of abortion as the solution.


Selena - April 14

I believe your conservative family would prefer for you to give birth to that baby you are conceiving right now than to have that aborted.


Vera - April 14

Abortion will not give you the solution to your problem but instead it will make the problem worse.


Kathleen - April 14

You and your boyfriend should be responsible of your own actions. Face the consequence of premarital sex and give that child a life.


Pamela - April 14

Think not just twice but to the nth times before deciding to have abortion. If that happens to me, I will give birth to that child even without a partner.


CoolEnough - April 14

Please don't abort the baby. Trust me, you'll regret it and you would say, if you can only bring back the hands of time, you'll surely not do it! :(



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