How parenthood changes marriage

January 8, 2008

If we ask couples who recently had their first baby, most agree that parenthood puts a strain on marriage. Before the baby arrived, there was time to go out for dinner and movies, have sex every night, stay out till the wee hours of the morning, and drink and party with friends. But once the baby arrived, all this activity came to a standstill.

Parenthood brings a lot more than just the baby. It brings a lot of hard work, more challenges and more responsibility and at the same time, it takes away freedom and time for any social activity. Many new parents experience this change in their marriage when they first have a baby. And each spouse may behave in different ways to this new change and the priorities and duties. New Moms may be very enthusiastic about the new arrival and the nursery and the baby clothes and the stroller and may complain when husbands don't show the same enthusiasm. Meanwhile, the Dads may feel that the wives are bickering too much and are spending way too much money on baby accessories and items that will you use only for a short time. And so, these little fights about money and enthusiasm may escalate and marital problems may arise.

Dealing With The Change In Relationship: Child and Marriage

Accepting changes is one of the important things that you have to do to keep your marriage strong as you make this transition from a couple to a family. You should remember that both of you will respond to being a mom or a dad differently. And so, Moms should keep in mind not to be disappointed if husbands don't share the same interest as you over baby clothes or the nursery. Remember that it will take him some time and that he will get there eventually. So, try to cut him some slack.

If you feel he does not understand the work involved in raising a baby, have him look after the baby one weekend when you go out with your girlfriends. Let him learn by himself and prove himself. You should also remember that he is new to this and appreciate his help.

Also, make time for intimacy. This does not mean you have to have sex. But you can be intimate by holding hands, hugging, kissing or massaging each other's shoulders. Also, communicate with each other. Talk about what you feel. Talk about your future together and the children. Give compliments and show how much you love each other.

When you and your partner connect with each other this way on a regular basis, you should be able to salvage what is left of your marriage and raise a happy family.

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