Learning To Communicate

July 20, 2010

Menopause is a valuable time for self-exploration, if only life would leave you alone. On the one hand, you're done having kids and done with the mess of menstruation. No babies to care for 24/7. But in some ways, it seems like you've just traded those responsibilities for others.

Sexy Feelings?

Now you've got adolescents to deal with or perhaps empty nest syndrome. You've got aging parents dependent upon your care. It's not so easy after all, finding time to reawaken those long-buried sexy feelings.

Start by scheduling intimate time as you would any other appointment. Let these "appointments" remain sacrosanct and inviolate. This time is only for you and for your partner. Don't let the world intrude.

Make good use of your time. Learn to communicate to your partner what you would like him to do to you, for you, in bed. It's not easy to say these things aloud, but you will find the way to say things: the way that is right for both you and for your partner.

If you lack courage, your body will say what your words will not. You will close up tight against your partner's efforts to please you. You will feel frustrated, so will he, and your hint of desire will not flower but evaporate into thin air. It will be that much harder next time, to feel aroused and sexual. Your homework is to find a way to communicate your sexual needs to your partner in the most effective way possible.

Non-Procreative Sex?

Part of the difficulty in communicating our needs has to do with being part of a society that is of two minds about sex. We know we need it for reproduction, but do we really need it for pleasure? We may feel guilty at the idea of sex that is of the non-procreative variety. Then there is our age: we may think that it isn't seemly to have sexual desire at our age.

But that's a shame. We did our time in the reproductive years. Don't we deserve this time for us? Of course we do.

Here are some tips that may help you explore your inner passion:

*Have a checkup. Maybe you have a physical issue getting in the way of arousal such as dry vagina. Your doctor can help.

*Wake up your femininity. For some women it's a scent: a special cologne or body lotion, for others it's silky lingerie. Find the trigger to your arousal and make good use of it.

*Take care of your health. Eat a healthy diet and make sure to exercise. Being as healthy as you can be will boost your energy levels and help you locate your inner-tigress.

*Explore emotions. Take time to get to know your partner. Just talk to each other. Take a class together.

*Communicate your worries and needs to your partner and show you care about his needs and fears, too.

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