Menopause Self Esteem

July 20, 2010

As the years pass by, many women begin to feel less like sexual beings and more like just regular folks. They may think the same way they did at 25, but continue to be confronted with a mirror that refuses to lie. They see changes in their hair and skin, in their weight and shapeliness, and begin to believe that their sex lives should be phased out.

It's a question of self-esteem, really. You need a certain amount of self-adulation to foster desire. Society impresses on our minds the idea of the hot, young body being the only kind that can arouse a man's desire. Women of a certain age are deemed by society to be asexual.

Negative Thoughts and Menopause

We begin to have negative thoughts about ourselves as we find we no longer have firm tight bodies and unlined skin. As we see these first signs of aging, we may work up a sweat at the gym or go on starvation diets in an effort to maintain a body that fits the cultural norms for being desirable. But at some point, we begin to feel beaten by our lack of success in getting back that 20 year-old body. We despair of being sexually attractive ever again and wonder if we're trying too hard to stay in the game.

In spite of the seeming futility of trying to be young and sexy, menopause carries with it certain opportunities that can counterbalance the effects of aging on our sexuality. Menopause gives us the luxury of time for self-examination. We arrive at this point in time with the maturity and wisdom to override cultural ideals relating to the definitions of attractiveness and attraction. We reach within and find the beauty that is unique to us and this kind of self-possession may be the greatest aphrodisiac of all.

Limbic System

Appreciating your body as it is begins in your heart and mind. The limbic system of your brain (sometimes called the brain's emotional seat) is responsible for sexual desire and arousal. Arousal is sparked well in advance of tactile sensations or physical intimacy. Desire begins in the mind.

However, it may be hard to reach inside and remember this fact when you walk past a construction site and there are no longer whistles. You may feel a bit invisible or perhaps inconsequential as a sexual being and incapable of arousing male attention or sexuality.

Therein lays the crux of the matter: we are at an age where we no longer need the validation of others to feel our own worth. We have all known people who do not fit the guidelines for classic physical attractiveness, yet there is something about them. Something about their personalities shines from their faces and makes them irresistible. This is a quality that once earned, is ageless.

If you can connect with yourself and learn the art of self-love, you'll never end up on the sexual shelf. Menopause is the perfect time for the type of introspection that can help you generate an aura of regal beauty. You'll know you've gotten there when you find you've never looked or felt sexier.

 

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